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Updated on 03/04/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Yes, my mother figured out how to use the new system without my help. It was a test to make sure even idiot could update. Look for the hidden comments.
Slim
Updated on 03/04/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Yeehaw assholes I finished the bios page but now you dicks need to go and put your shit up. It's easy, your names indicate where you update.
Mspaints almost done, for real.
Slim
I just came up with the 2 best ideas ever!
1) Use Tommy's mom's pussylips as adspace for the site. even if 1 out of 100 people that see it every day actually check the site we'll be in the thousands after a week
Second idea. When i turn 40 i don't care how much this costs! My birthday will involve hitting every strip club on the east side and paying each stripper to put my dick in their mouths. that would be the SHIT!
There. I updated. May your dad accidentally slip a rufe (sp?) in your drink at the gaybar
Updated on 03/02/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
You're all lemmings except for Death. When one fucks up the rest follow. THE BACKSLASH GOES BEFORE THE END H_. NOT AFTER. RETARDS. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO PREVEIW YOUR POST?
My computer took a dive about ah, um, the last time I updated. I've filled my spare time with books, music, and plenty of masturbation. I've also been playing a little diablo 2, I've got a 42 barbarian who frenzies with dual axes and dishes out 500 pts damage per click. I'm such a nerd.
And I agree with The Dark Lord on this one, Matt should seriously join Neilsen. WTF our silver and small screen reviewer's opinions mean nothing (literally) if he doesn't vote. Jerk.
My birthday was the 24th. I was drunk for 2 straight days. Awesome. And I got a pool table. Sweet.
Anyway I'll update later with some crap nobody cares about.
Slim
Rumor mill says Matt's new favorite TV show may be on the chopping block next season, while I still haven't seen it, (usually wait for a show to come out on DVD because I'm a lazy and impatient mother fucker) I would like to see this continue. My suggestions Matt, start campaigning, and for as much criticizing of theatrical and television media you should actually put a vote towards the shit by signing up for Neilsen.
"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," picks up after "T2" with Sarah and John (now 15), and wowed audiences with its action-packed pilot. Michael Ausiello is worried about the series and says, "For as much money as Fox is pouring into this show — in terms of promotion and special effects — it should be doing better. It NEEDS to be doing better." Fans can still look forward to a two-hour season finale airing 3/3. Future Prognosis: Shaky Ground
FOX/Jill Greenberg - Thursday, February, 28, 2008, 9:28 PM
Death
Upadted on 2/28/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
The good people over at Warner Bros. Pictures have finally released the second Get Smart trailer, starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, The Rock, Bill Murray, and Malcolm McDowell. It's being directed by Peter Segal (The Longest Yard), and I can say that it had its funny spots.
If you were a fan of the series, this will make you smile. Look at the damn preview.
-Matt-
Upadted on 2/25/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
I can now confirm that two characters who damn well should have been in the X-Men movie series since the start are finally getting their due screen time.
I am sad to report that Gambit will have screen time in this, the origin of Wolverine, and his part was given to a Canadian actor named Taylor Kitsch, whose only notable role was a troubled football player on the show "Friday Night Lights".
But in lighter news, everybody's favorite merc with a mouth is confirmed to be a major part of the film, yes, Deadpool will be present and, in a stroke if brilliance on the part of the casting director, Ryan Reynolds will be the smart-ass assassin.
Lastly, in the world of movies; Christian Bale has Signed on, with director McG (Supernatural) and Sony Pictures Worldwide Acquisitions Group, to play the leader of the human resistance, John Connor, in the upcoming Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. The film is set to hit theaters on May 22, 2009. With everything the Sarah Connor Chronicles has shown me, I may give this first of three a chance.
On another note, I saw Jumper the other day. I've tried writing a review, but I really don't want to waste time writing about something that bad. I can get my point across in one word: SHIT. There's my review. You wanna know why I'm not going to explain it to you? Because it was that bad.
If you wanted to sit down and force yourself to watch Samuel L. Jackson's 3 worst films, you would watch Snakes on a Plane, Black Snake Moan, and Jumper. Providing you didn't turn any of them into drinking games based on every shitty detail, you may not kill yourself before you get to Jumper, but you'll have wanted to afterwards.
I noticed that no new shitty videos have been uploaded. The forums are failing. And besides the norm, the front page has seen a distinct lack of shit. Somebody drag bitchtit back to the keys and tell him to man up. I felt bad about picking on the twelve year old, but the fuck had it coming. I thought Slim warned him.
-Matt-
I meant everytime you post something that you thought might make someone laugh they didn't. The silence on the site says it all.
< 3
Death
Updated on 02/21/08 by Joshua "back on my feet again" WrightIts true, I won't lie, failure is a major part of my life. In many ways, I am charlie brown. Constantly going for the football. But at least I can say I haven't stayed more than six months with any job I've hated. The first time a company'd screw me, i'd take my shufflin papers and book it.
I don't know any of my friends who can say that. I know you can't say that death.
Besides if I didn't laugh at it, then my life really would be sad.Like when our only source of updates is me and Death. Why is he the only one with a fucking pseudonym ?
Good olde Red, Sean, lazin it up some place. No updates in how long? WTF?
Moderator my ass.
Josh
Notice a recurring theme? Need I say more?
Death
Updated 02/17/08 by Josh "it can't get much worse then this" Wright
For the first time, I am going to do something I have never done. I am Going to list in order all of the jobs I have had. I haven't even compiled the whole list and my mind reels at the posibilities. Its in fact rather staggering exectly how many companies i've duped in to hiring me.Here now in its entirety is the list-
1. Crc - telemarketing-corrupt and bankrupt.
2. Dairy Queen - clerk and ice cream bitch. Sold to new onwers.
3. Safeway - bagger/lot. Horrible.
4. Hollywood video- Clerk- not suck, I watched movies all day.
5. Barnes Noble cafe- Barista- free books.
6. Remodel usa- Telemarketing - what a shithouse
7. Home Depot- Outside Garden - three friends also worked here. It was lame as fuck.
8. Swordinthestone0 replica swords - I had fun here. I also found out why forgien bosses suck.
9. Nc17/proPatch/fantatic clothing - Telemarketing/ordershipping - I got tons of free swag from this job.
10.Handyman- Odd Jobs n Such
11.For one wierd ass weekend I was a tag along on a Van shuttle to San Fransisco.
12.Socal Computer- telemarketing- weird people there...wierd family actually.
13.Digital Dolphin- Telemarketing- Printer supplies. Ick.
14.Carson Printing and repair- Same. These people need to be shot.
15.RedlightVideo- Prono Reviews. Best job ever.
16.Crc- yes again, they told me they was different this time....nope.
17.ReallyGreatRate.com- customer service agent- cool place on the beach.
18.1-800 the law 2. Call Center. - Wow that place was upscale.
19.TRI *psychic Hotline"- i've never laughed so hard in my life.
20.Mortuary Transport Service- Dead body transport. Changed my life.
21.Freedom buisness administraitors- Telemarketing- owner had to be the biggest dork i've ever met.
22.Phoenix Management Service- Telemarketing- Meh. Brian was a cool boss. He fired me and I still though we has cool.
24.Capwest Finacial real estate- telemarketing. IN PV. Owned by first class douche.
25.Yahoo Inc. -white hat- virus coding and debugging.
26.Power Pr.- IT- I was so awed by having my own IT position, I didn't notice when they didn't really so much as fire the old guy as threaten him with me, so I got fired and he took less money.
27.LAPAD- telemarketing- I TOOK THE BUS FROM PEDRO TO LAWNDALE. FUCK THAT SHIT.
28.7-11- clerk- I was there for a month. I saw....unspeakable things.
29.Computer Repair-My own company, shitcanned for not filing proper permits and buisness name statements.
30.Kiwigear*the mall*kisok clerk- I saw so much fine tail. Mother Of God.
31.Kiwigear*the redondo store* Clerk/shipping/data entry/ect... I ran the god damned place!!!!
32.I have sold alot of pot. Not like Steve or anything. But enough. Enough for a white guy.
All I have to say is that while I should very rightly be digusted with myself for accruing this masterpice in less than a decade, holy shit are there some dumb mother fuckers in this world. I wouldn't hire me if you'd paid me a bribe and held my kids hostage at bombpoint. Which reminds me, i'm unemployed again. Not to worry. There's a new one born every minute.
"Someday. men will say that I issued in the 20th century" - J.T.R~
Josh
Updated 02/11/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
So, since episode 1, The Sarah Connor Chronicles has only gotten better. Some people say that it's a bit slower than they'd like, but I say that they're slower than what should be allowed to live.
Contrary to what I claimed in my initial review, they are not trying, so much, to pretend that #3 never happened, but rather, to change what happened in #3 so it becomes as irrelevant as any of Mostow's previous works.
Tonight's episode introduced us to John's uncle, Kyle Reese's brother (from the future!). I have not yet tracked down the actor's name (because the IMDB can suck at times) and I never caught the guy's first name. Apparently, he's future John's Solid Snake.
Other than that, the FBI-HNIC found a severed T-888 hand after a daring prison rescue. Sarah's ex was questioned on the current whereabouts of John & Sarah, by the terminator sent to kill John under the guise of a fed. His wife is probably going to get herself, and maybe him, killed with her Bitchtit-like cuntlieness (Ryan-like ways of being a cuntrag).
I got to thinking afterwards; "If you look through the eyes of the man/men John sent back in time, they were obviously born before Judgment Day, they had a life (albeit miserable & horrifying)". My question is this: If they had a flashback, to the time of the war, while they were waiting to make contact with John & Sarah, would it technically be considered a flashback? Can one flash back to a time that has not happened yet? THat could possibly be altered beyond recognition? I always thought that flashbacks were to something that was solid fact, irrevocable, permanent.
If the future is not set, then fact can easily become fantasy.
-Matt-
Updated 02/10/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
Roy Scheider (Jaws) has died at the age of 75 at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences hospital in Little Rock, hospital spokesman David Robinson said. The hospital did not release a cause of death.
He last appeared in the film "If I didn't Care", a Hitchcockian film noir/thriller set in the exclusive resort community of The Hamptons.
His last notable piece of work was a "Law & Order: CI" episode entitled "Endgame", aired on May 14 2007.
In lighter news, I've decided not to have Bitchtit killed for ruining the site by deleting the front page and I guess I could think about not having him killed for ruining the site with his abhorred writing & shit taste in videos. However, I still harbor the opinion that he is a tremendous douche and his mother is a shameful whore.
There's my fucking retraction
-Matt-
Updated on 02/08/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
You're right, I could have censored my friend for his own good, saving him some potential embarassment. But you have no clue how much I enjoyed the fact that it was on top for soo long, and so many people saw it in all it's retarded glory. "But Slim", you say, "he was clearly on drugs and not able to discern up from down, left from right, or funny from HORRIBLE." He said it best folks:
And shut your nerdy, drama lovin', earth tone coordinating, wanna-be-LARPing man pleaser.
I'm out.
Slim
Updated on 02/07/08 by Joshua "Where do i put it" Wright
Ok, so I've learned I don't want to expose others to my idiocy on shrooms. I could say that Our dear moderator had it in his control to write that one off to good chemistry, and delete my post for my own damned good. But alas, these guys are fucks. dah well.
Death, go fuck yourself. My rant had to power to pull your cock out of your battlefield 2 rig, so at least it served some purpose. Sword of 1000 truths, you fucking nerdbag.
So its time I discussed the Heath Ledger Sui-aciddent. I though he was an ok actor. He was no god damned Sammy L thats for sure, but he had a few moments. I think this is what happens when hollywood typecasts you as a Homosexual. Could you imagine being that guy and having normal chicks "friend zone" you constantly? And it wasn't even a respectable suicide, he didn't die, say, trying to inhale a Mt. Whitney sized pile of cocanie or anything, no Evil Kinevil last hurrah. Sleeping pills before a massage. Rough dude.
Even if he did die accidentally, which i'm really not sure he did, how the fuck do you accidentally take too much of a KNOWN deadly substance? Thats like saying you accidentally fell into a pit of lava. How is there accident in this. You know pills bad, may kill you. No put too many in mouth. Fucktard. Either way, at least you get some points for spooking the maid.
Joker or not, he's a shitstick.
Josh
I only reap souls, not punch lines, and that last little piece of creative writing only had one... you figure it out. You know what's funny: we may have a black president soon, hell maybe even a transvestite. Anvils may drop from the sky a la Wily E. Coyote and liquify people that I love. I could still find some sense of humor in that, however the only thing I laughed at in the post below was you Josh. Epic Fail, you have been owned by Sword of 1000 Truths+6.
Death
Updated on 01/02/08 by Josh "Big Bitch" Wright
_post this as my update_ i'm high on shrooms and i don't know when i'm liable to be this fucking funny again__
Holy shit, the last few days have been a fucking DunderWiesal trying to kill me. It had like teeth and a tail thing that was all like MAR. it was weird. I don't really understand why everything metled down over here at te olde homestead. I think its cause our moderator has a tiny prick.
I could, though, just be high on the Mushrooms right now. I've been high on the mushrooms for a while now, and i'll i've got to say is yellow is a lame color. it just sits there, gaying up everything it touches. Yellow has been henceofrht renamed to lamee-gay. SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LETR IT BE DONE!!!
josh
Updated on 02/01/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I see nobody updated while I was away. Bastards. I've been on my deathbed for four days while you pricks diddle on with your lives.
O. M. F G.
Pot. Vending machine. I didn't even watch the video (Dial-up), but I found this. I seizured when I read it. It dispenses in 1/8ths and 1/4s. Marijuana will soo be legal in my lifetime. So happy.
I heard on the radio this chick was watching TV, changed the channel and saw part of the movie Deep Water, and called the coast guard launching a search and rescue mission. She thought what she saw was real. Dumb bitch. She was fined $50,000.
Still haven't finished Mspaints, or the 3 pages I have in progress. Eat me. I've been sick.
Slim
Update for 01/24/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
I'm serious about what I said above. I WILL crap on your floor. And I've changed most of the scripting language of the page, but as far as you guys are concerned updating is the same. The biggest F'n difference is th-NO ADS. I likey.
Slim
Updated 01/22/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn
CNN is reporting that Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment. The NYPD officials report that his mexican cleaning lady found the actor's body early in the afternoon.
Paramedics were quick on the scene, but Ledger was unresponsive and ruled DOA.
Ledger most recently played the Joker in the upcoming THE DARK KNIGHT. He also starred in such films as I'M NOT THERE, CANDY, THE BROTHERS GRIMM, THE FOUR FEATHERS, and A KNIGHT'S TALE.
Ledger was only 28 years old.
-Matt-
In Addendum: Yahoo news now reports: NEW YORK - Heath Ledger, the talented 28-year-old actor who gravitated toward dark, brooding roles that defied his leading-man looks, was found dead Tuesday in a Manhattan apartment, facedown at the foot of his bed with prescription sleeping pills nearby, police said.
There was no obvious indication that the Australian-born Ledger had committed suicide, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said.
Ledger had an appointment for a massage at the SoHo apartment that is believed to be the home of the "Brokeback Mountain" actor, Browne said. The massage therapist and a housekeeper found his naked body at about 3:30 p.m. They tried to revive him, but he was already dead.
Fuck! That was suppose to be you, Bitchtit!
-Matt-
Updated on 01/22/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Get over it now. Both of you are assholes for no reason. Which is fine normally, but your both taking this a step to far. I WILL SLAP SOMEONE. And it will hurt.
I was getting ready to bone Tommy's mom when it dawned on me that I forgot to grab my elbow length gloves and cricket bat. So I head on down to the ole' gas station to see if they had at least hefty bags and a squeegee. Well I'm not there 5 minutes when this ugly bitch asks me what I need 10 small containers of vasoline, hefty bags, and a saftey cone for. Anyway, moral of the story is never get in yourself in so deep you can't get out. And never trust a fat woman. Ever. Especially around small children.
Slim
fuck you, Matt your a stupid dick i did not even touch that page since the 16th because nothing came out in that time frame that I found particularly interesting. so your not pinning this action of complete and utter stupidity on me.
Have you ever looked at someone in disgust, contempt, or just plain abhorred someone to the point that you have been left speechless?
If so here's the site for you:
Proper Names.
Much more useful than that other place Matt goes.
Death
Updated on 01/21/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
Runny noses and sandy panties abound. Come to think of it, now so do bloody virgins and the reek of slaughter. Death has updated, I didn't even know he was gonna contribute, let alone delete the front page and leave it that way throwing the editors into spirals of suspicion and madness. So before anybody decides to do anything drastic like hiring a hitman, let's all apologize and move on with what's left of some of your incredibly short lives.
I put the cool shit page up. I did it so our readers would have something to READ when thay came here. Matt did change the src of the pics, but neither he nor homocron did this so let's hear some retractions. Baseless accusations can cost more than a job. SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
Slim
Greetings from beyond, it seems as though many of you have sandy panties today. I hope you enjoyed my present, you should back up your files more often. Accidentally clicked the wrong thing, then got distracted chasing some muff around so I didn't get around to fixing it.
Anyways, glad to see Red hasn't died of a heart attack yet. (//_x)
Death
Updated on 1/21/08 by Matt "DGAF" Pangburn.
Okay, Bitchtit. We're definately going to have problems if you even think about trying to pawn this one off on me. I changed your picks back to the dogshit after I had seen that you deleted the front page while trying to update your SHIT section. How it happened? I don't know. But it wasn't my update that did it, and I have witnesses.
Sean, I vote we begin the firing process of Ryan "Bitchtit" Tranchilla. He's fucked up too many times.
-Matt-
Updated on 01/21/08 by Ryan TranchillaMatt, You are such a dumb bitch for deleting the page. If you weren't trying to fuck with my posts none of this would have happened! So, Stop fucking with my shit you jackass!!!
P.S. Matt, Eat shit and die!!!
Updated on 01/21/08 by Sean "Slimboy Fat" Walters
...
...
...Why? Can't you fuck ups manage not to delete the site while im away? It's mind-boggling how fast you tards deleted it AGAIN. Please for the love of Mylanta, DO NOT DELETE THE PAGE. I hate you fuckers. Next person to do it gets a drop kick in the jewels. You think I'm joking?
Anyways, whoever did it e-mail me please, so I can properly instruct you on how to be less of an asshole. slimboy2200@gmail.com.
I changed the Tommy Mspaint. Still waiting on pics. Assholes.
WTF Will? Tyler? Why have I not seen you guys on here? Email me assholes.
Assholes.
Slim
